Thursday, September 15, 2011

Stopped me in my tracks.

 Have you ever had a moment when you heard someone say something or you'd come across a quote that just shook your spirit?  That happened to me the other day, while I was watching (don't laugh) The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  I'm assuming that most of you have seen on the news that Taylor's husband Russell committed suicide a couple weeks ago.  So this whole season, we will probably get to witness the full breakdown of their marriage, which is pretty sad.  Anyway, at the end of the season opener on Wednesday, they showed clips of what's to come in future episodes.  One of the clips, Taylor is distraught and crying and she says to someone (I think it's Kyle), "You don't have to be my friend, but please don't be my enemy."  Talk about a powerful statement. That made me want to cry for her!

What she'd said, got me to thinking about how people in general are just so aggressive these days.  Everyone is so extreme with feelings and opinions.  We either love a person or hate them (think, Beyonce).  Why no more in between?  One thing I've learned through the years, is the POWER OF INDIFFERENCE or what I also call, the power of IGNORE.  It's healthy for both parties--the person's feeling we are talking about and the subject of those feelings.  Why spend the energy hating or disliking someone, when you can just be indifferent?  Learning to consciously use indifference does not happen overnight.  It does take some practice.  But we all have the ability to exercise control over our emotions.  We're human, we all feel jealousy or envy at times (hopefully fleeting), we've all been offended or insulted by someone, or just plain turned off.  The most powerful thing a person can do in any situation like that is learn to hit that "indifference/ignore" button, and bam!, no drama, no lingering feelings, no hate, etc.  And boy, when that person sees or realizes that you are indifferent to them or ignoring them, it takes the power they have over your feelings back and they know it.  Well, in the case of my example of Beyonce, I'm sure she's indifferent herself to her backlash and it probably doesn't bother her at all. haha

So the point I'm making is, in reverse of that.  If it is YOU who does not like someone, or hates someone, or even jealous of someone---that doesn't mean you have to be their enemy.  If anything, remove that person from your HEAD.  I could have said "life", but that's not always possible.  You don't have to carry ill feelings, do mean or vicious things, etc. to that person just because you don't like them, especially if they have never done anything really to you.  Learn to let some things roll off of your back.  Learn to turn the other cheek, learn to control feelings of jealousy/envy and not allow it to become a compulsion....and I'm telling you, you will have a more peaceful existence, and your emotional well-being will thank you for it.



  1. wow! powerful post and it's so true...hate is a very destructive emotion...

  2. Like I always say about you, "Beauty with brains to back it up!"

    I had to teach this very lesson to a co-worker yesterday evening after bickering the whole shift over policy.

    Before leaving I wished her safe travels, being that she takes public transit at night. She asked me why I would do that? I simply responded "Why not? I don't hate you just because we dissagree!"

    Unfortunately, this type of behavior manifests commonly in the workplace and throughout life. In times when we should be showing love now more than ever we choose to hold on to hatred and resentment because it's just more convenient.

    Big Hugs & Love to you Nikstar!

  3. This was such a great post and I wish many more can view this. I completely agree with you Nik. I'm the type of person who accepts peeps for who they are. It take alot for me not to care for someone but if thats the case I just leave it be..wish more would adapt this way of thinking.

  4. I saw this episode and it stood out to me too. I wish more women thought like this but unfortunately that is not the case and is also the reason that I've become as strong as I have. To me, women can be so emotional and controlling so that when things/people don't go their way....hate comes out. To me, life is so short and most things just aren't that deep to warrant feelings of that nature anyway.

  5. It's a sad episode, considering everything that has happened since then. As far as being indifferent, it sounds easy, but too many of us worry about what people think of us, instead of just enjoying your life. It's the only one you've got!

  6. So true in that people are so extreme in their emotions and display aggressiveness over the slightest infraction or PERCEIVED infraction. My words are simply "be nice to people" because you NEVER know what they're going through. I don't have time to carry around ill feelings for people so I truly don't allow people to get emotional reactions from me. I control and discipline MY body/ mind and not the other way around! As you know from my blog I LOVE these types of posts.

  7. I'm learning to feel indifferent about certain people in my life. It's easier with co-workers and such but, can the same apply to exes? I'm trying sooo hard :-/


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